


can't sleep love - cashton

by thoughtsafterdark



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 03:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16400843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtsafterdark/pseuds/thoughtsafterdark
Summary: He should’ve left as soon as he began to realize he loved Ashton more than anything in this world. He should’ve left him and made him hate him. Maybe that way it would be easier to forget him and they can go on with their lives like normal, without the other.But for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had grown so attached to the fragile, hazel eyed boy that it would kill him to leave him all alone.





	can't sleep love - cashton

Calum couldn’t sleep.

His mind was racing and his heart was beating so fast. His skin was on fire where Ashton lay his head on Calum’s chest, his cold hands resting under Calums shirt. He couldn’t keep the dirty thoughts from protruding his mind. He knew he couldn’t think of him like that; Ash was his best friend for fucks sake! He wasn’t supposed to get flustered whenever they would brush up against each other. He shouldn’t feel his heart tie itself into knots when he watches Ash smile and giggle with strangers. And he definitely shouldn’t get turned on by his soft touch and his pink lips. Or how delicate and graceful Ashton looks curled up against him. Or how the older boy looks as if he could break at any moment and Calum was the only thing keeping him from doing so.

He should’ve left as soon as he began to realize he loved Ashton more than anything in this world. He should’ve left him and made him hate him. Maybe that way it would be easier to forget him and they can go on with their lives like normal, without the other.

But for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had grown so attached to the fragile, hazel eyed boy that it would kill him to leave him all alone. He had grown used to the many sleepless nights where the two of them sat on the roof, talking about anything. Or the nights when the two of them and the rest of their band crashed at Luke’s house and stayed up until the most ungodly of hours. Or the “study dates”, as Cal would call them, where the two of them would go to the Clifford family's tiny café and studied. Although Calum spent more time studying him than the actual material he’d be needing for class the next day.

He was too far in love with Ashton, that he could never find it in himself to leave him.

And that's why he couldn’t sleep. The love of his life was curled up into his side, not knowing what his touch was doing to him. He hated that he couldn’t kiss him in that moment or pull him on top of him and attack him with love bites, showing everyone he’s his and his only. But he's not and doing that would be crossing the line of Friendship and he didn’t want to lose Ashton. He didn’t care if it would physically pain him to be near him, as long as he kept Ash in his life, he’d be fine. It’d be better than having Ash hate him.

As his eyes were finally about to shut, the slight movement beside him startled him awake. Beside him, the fragile boy was beginning to thrash around. Immediately, Calum sprung up and reached out for Ashton, his tan hands on the boys shoulders to wake him up.

“Hey,” He spoke calmly, despite the panic setting in his bones. He knew that in time like these, he had to remain calm, even though seeing Ashton like this made him want to cry and curse whoever did this to him. But Calum knew what Ashton needed; comfort and safety.

“Hey. It’s alright. I’m here.”

Ashton’s eyes sprung open and he threw himself into Calum’s chest, burying his face in Calums neck. He could feel tears streaming from Ashtons eyes, leaving warm trails down his neck. He sighed and ran his hands up and down his back, trying to calm the crying boy.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened; it had become a regular thing that happened after an incident back in December. Ashton never spoke much of it, but Calum had been with him every night since then, making sure he was safe and protected. It made his heart break when he saw Ashton like this for the first time; he had panicked and didn’t know what to do. Ashton was sobbing and screaming as he slept, his arms flailing around and his legs kicking the air. Ashton’s body was jerking in every direction. Calum didn't understand but he made it his mission to find out how he could help him.

“I’m sorry.” Ashton sat up, his cheeks tear stained. Calum offered him a soft smile. Calum swiped the pad of his thumb over Ashtons cheek while his large hands held Ashtons face close to his own. He rested his forehead against his, Ashtons staggered breaths fanning over his face. He closed his eyes and so did Ashton, taking a moment and bathing in the closeness of the two of them. Calum prayed Ash couldn’t feel how his heart rate had picked up, beating like a drum against his rib cage.

“Don’t be,” Calum reassured him. He opened his eyes and saw Ashtons hazel eyes staring right back at him. He could feel heat rising to his cheeks, and so he looked away, not taking his forehead off of Ashtons. They stayed like that for a while, Ashton sitting across from him with his legs over Calums, their foreheads resting against one another. Calum kept finding it so fucking hard not to stare at Ashtons lips. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart.” Calum noticed Ashtons cheeks light up, going as red as a tomato.

“I know,” Ashton mumbled, avoiding Calums gaze. For some reason, that made Calum smile, because maybe, just maybe Ash loves him. It's a bit of a stretch but from the amount of times he’s watched him flirt with other people, Ashton's never blushed at anything they've said. This is the first time in a long time Calum’s seen him blush and he can’t help but smile, knowing that he’s the reason. “I’m sorry for putting you through this, you don’t deserve this, Cal.”

“Hey, look at me.” His heart is beating faster with every second Ashtons eyes stayed glued to his. “I don’t care. I’ve always been here for you and I will always be here for you, no matter what time of day it is. I love you so much and if something were to happen to you, I don’t know what I would do with myself.” His eyes widened at his sudden confession. It was as if he had no control over what his mouth was doing and what his brain was pushing out his mouth.

The room was silent, but it wasn’t an awkward silence.

All that could be heard were the sounds of tires running against wet pavement below the opened window. They just sat there, staring at each other. Calum didn’t know what to do; he was sort of expecting Ashton to yell at him but he didn’t. Calum didn’t want to get his hopes up, there was still a good chance he thought Calum meant he loved him like a best friend.

“When you said you loved me, did you mean it?” Ashton asked the question Calum dreaded. His answer would either ruin their friendship or be the start something absolutely beautiful. Calum took a moment to form the perfect answer. “I need to know that you aren’t just saying it to make me feel better.”

Calum was quick to reply after that, his heart beating fast and his hands holding Ashtons face once again. “I love you so much. You are the light of my life. You are the reason I get up every morning. You make me want to get up and dance whenever you smile.” He moved his hands from Ashtons cheeks to hold his hands in his own. He pressed a feather-light kiss on each knuckle before holding them over his heart. “And you feel that?” Ashton nodded. “You make my heart beat faster than normal when you’re close to me. I could never survive if I didn’t have you in my life and I’m so glad I have you. I love you so much more than you think.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I always thought you stayed around this long because you knew I was broken.”

“No. I stayed around because i love you and care about you.”

“I know that now,” Ashton giggled and Calum’s heart melted.

“I want to kiss you so bad right now.” Calum admitted.

“What’s stopping you?” He teased, moving his hands to the back of Calums neck, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck. Calum smiled and pulled Ashton towards him, their lips uniting in a kiss so full of love.

“I love you too, Calum.”


End file.
